It wasn't quite the sixties, it definitely wasn't the seventies
Thank god it wasn't the eighties, by Jovi it wasn't the nineties
It was the naughty noughties...
It was millenium eve, nineteen ninety nine
When we met at a party and you fell into these arms of mine
On the same fateful night Justin Hawkins formed The Darkness
We formed our relationship and sealed it with a kiss
As the nineteen nineties turned into the naughty noughties
Our love began to blossom just like Westlife's career
And after several dates we made our future plans
In an era when Jarjar Binks was offending Star Wars fans
It was the naughty noughties we vowed to see them through together
In an age when Bridget Jones was a novel best seller
Harry Potter was not yet teenage, Gareth Gates was all the rage
And we were both as young and innocent as they were
I was attached to you like The Edge to his bobble hat
We were never apart it felt like the perfect match
We got engaged two years into this new decade
But we soon ran into problems like Jordan and Peter Andre
We started out like Bush and Blair, but ended up like Noel and Liam
If the warning signs had been there we would've been too blind to see 'em
On the Golden Jubilee our love was plain to see
But by the Queen's eightieth birthday you had left me
It was the naughty noughties we should've seen them through together
But we were tested by Dub'ya, Simon Cowell and extreme weather
And as you walked out the door you said I'd no longer see yer
Those words hit me harder than New Orleans was hit by Hurricane Katrina
The mid-noughties was the worst time of my life you know
I was struggling to get over you and James Blunt lived on the radio
I heard through word-of-mouth you had a new man
How dare could you replace me like Daniel Craig replaced Pierce Brosnan!?!
I drank at first just like Gordon Brown
But I really couldn't face it so I had to track you down
With the aid of Google Earth I found your new house
But you weren't there to answer, so I gave up and turned round
It was the naughty noughties we should've made it through together
But we were tested by swine flu, MySpace and wars on terror
Though we've come so far you dismissed me like you were Sir Alan Sugar
And like him you found a new apprentice to love
Two thousand and seven was the year of the comeback
I got in touch with you on Facebook and you gave me flak
I said 'if Sting can bury the hatchet then why can't we?'
You agreed and we got back together over a glass or three
You ditched your new man quicker than you can say 'credit crunch'
We made plans for our wedding over a spot of lunch
But the old problems began to rear their ugly heads
And by late two thousand and nine our relationship was dead
Oh no, ah-hoo!
It was the naughty noughties we almost saw them through together
But we were distracted by celebrity updates on Twitter
There's not much left to say, we nearly made it all the way
But like Big Brother our love had soon run it's cause
Oh!
Na-na-na, na-na-na, na-na-nah... woah-wow, woah-wow..!
Na-na-na, na-na-na, na-na-nah... woah-wow, woah-wow..!
Na-na-na, na-na-na, na-na-nah... woah-wow, woah-wow..!
Na-na-na, na-na-na, na-na-nah... woah-wow, woah-wow..!
Release notes:
All words by Bri Jnr., all music by Bri Jnr. & Tico Jnr.
Bri, with a bit of sign-language, says:
This might be the most wonderful lyric I have composed to date. Telling the story of a doomed relationship via the key events, music, television and celebrities of the first decade of the 2000's, it is all in chronological order and painstakingly researched. Even Tico was impressed with my efforts for slightly longer than usual. The lyric about Hurricane Katrina is guaranteed to have him rolling about on the floor in tears.
Many verses were required to tell the tale and document the decade so this ultimate power ballad was easy to stretch to 10 minutes, especially with the additional obligatory "Woah, Woahs" for the outro. I also gave Tico a lot of room for his guitar solo gyrations and he laps up the opportunity to wail tunefully (and occasionally tunelessly) over many bars of music. This is how you close a double album!
Tico, with a bit of body-language, says:
This is more like it - we really know how to do a long old epic ballad. I believe I am correct in saying Bri wrote this entire number, so cheers to that. I was there to provide essential backing vocals and that fiesty lead guitar and solo-ing, so cheers to that. A wonderful track with lots of words, some more clever than others, but it cannot help bring a smile with a tinge of sadness. Listen carefully and you can hear Bri struggling with what was modern life, although that was a good few years ago - I bet he is in bits now. To try and cheer himself up he did dare me to try and include a bit of 'Trimm Trabb' in the guitar frottage - and I did, much to his dismay.
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