A BARBECUE (FOR THE VEGANS)




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Thanks for the invite, it's lovely weather for it
Oh yeah, have you got anything for the wife? She's a vegan

I got chicken roasting on an open fire
Chips are cooking in my deep fat fryer
I've got cheese and pineapple on sticks
And an arm-length guest list full of pricks
I've got finger food and lots of booze
A variety of quische for you to choose
You won't go hungry, rest assured
I've got enough food to feed a fat family of four

The weather is delightful and wait 'til you get an eyeful of my combo platter sharer on a plate
And if you don't find this delightful I'll woo you with my trifle, it won first prize at the village fate

A barbecue fit for you and artichokes for the vegans
A barbecue fit for you and pumpkin seeds for the vegans
A barbecue fit for you and quorn burgers for the vegans
A barbecue fit for you and pasta shells for the vegans

Feel free to invite who you like
Unlike Royal Mail I won't go on strike
I cater for every women fancy
From Des and Mel to Sven and Nancy

The weather is delightful and wait 'til you get an eyeful of my combo platter sharer on a plate
And if you don't find this delightful I'll woo you with my trifle, it won first prize at the village fate

A barbecue fit for you and curly fries for the vegans
A barbecue fit for you and corn on the cob for the vegans
A barbecue fit for you and lettuce leafs for the vegans
A barbecue fit for you and butter beans for the vegans

A barbecue fit for you and artichokes for the vegans
A barbecue fit for you and pumpkin seeds for the vegans
A barbecue fit for you and quorn burgers for the vegans
A barbecue fit for you and pasta shells for the vegans
A barbecue fit for you and curly fries for the vegans
A barbecue fit for you and corn on the cob for the vegans
A barbecue fit for you and lettuce leafs for the vegans
A barbecue fit for you and butter beans for the vegans

It's not all meat, a veggies treat - a barbecue for the vegans
It's not all meat, there's lot to eat - a barbecue for the vegans
It's not all meat, a veggies treat - a barbecue for the vegans
It's not all meat, there's lot to eat - a barbecue for the vegans

Thanks again for our invite, it really was lovely...
That hit the spot


Release notes:
All words & music by Bri Jnr. & Tico Jnr.

Tico Jnr. at the time of release had this to say...:

What a load of tosh. I like my meat and I like it large. Try as I might, I could not figure out why, but Bri had to try and see into the future. Shame he couldn't see him struggling to re-create this ditty from the demo version, as he couldn't perform it in the original key so we had to drop it a notch! It was very confusing for my dazzling guitar solo.

Of course, Bri Jnr. has to have his say during the modern day:

Vegan-friendly biscuits? Now there's a promising business venture I have yet to consider! Mel, Sven and Nancy are more than welcome to sample my first broken biscuit batch as soon as I can make this possible - and we will, no doubt, raise a (vegan) toast in memory of Mel's beloved Des (rest in peace / pieces).

The food industry has certainly evolved in the years since we co-wrote this sunshine-laced beauty to the point where I want to shout 'it's not ALL plant!' to appease my more carnivorously-inclined social circle (edit. - Tico Jnr says it's more of a semi-circle).

This evolution is most certainly welcome though, I have no doubt whatsoever that Tico's fictional vegan wife is pleased with these developments.


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