Mavis is stood at the top of the stairs
Trying on some new underwear
She's going out on the pull up town
To meet more men who'll turn her down
But she'll get lucky and have her fling
And be stripped of her g-string
To modern music they'll girate
Although she's pushing eighty-eight
He'll use her, abuse her
But she don't care as she conceals her grey hair
She likes it, won't fight it
But she keeps her cardi' on as she don't wanna catch a cold
She's found a man and it's more than lust
And marrying him she says is a must
She's found her match in this toy-boy
Smitten he has a body of Troy
To keep in shape he trains hard and fast
He likes pumpin' iron and pumpin' ass
In their bed it's anything goes
They call themselves the sex hungry hippo's
He'll use her, abuse her
But she don't care as she conceals her grey hair
She likes it, won't fight it
But she keeps her cardi' on as she don't wanna catch a cold
He'll use her, abuse her
But she don't mind as he takes her gently from behind
She likes it, won't fight it
He's really strong but weak against her strap-on
He'll use her, abuse her
But she don't care as she conceals her grey hair
She likes it, won't fight it
But she keeps her cardi' on as she don't wanna catch a cold
He'll use her, abuse her
But she don't mind as he takes her from behind
She likes it, won't fight it
He's really strong but weak against her strap-on
Release notes:
All words & music by Tico Jnr.
Bri Jnr.:
Mavis is stood at the top of the stairs. Now you try and sing that back. See, I told you. Tico thought he was Noel, writing nonsense lyrics like these knowing that I (Liam) will have to sing them. No wonder I lost interest in the double / triple album (that will finally be released in 2023, don't watch this particular space) and shuffled away into the world of market stalls and crumbling Digestives.
Like Pulp's 'Help The Aged', this song ruminates on how an old aged pensioners retirement doesn't need to be just a date with destiny - it can and SHOULD be a final flutter of fulfilment of previously unfulfilled, legal sexual fantasies.
Mavis is the super heroine for a generation that experience World War 2 in real time. If any of our songs had the potential to be made into a Carry On movie, it would and SHOULD be this one. Oo-er!
Tico Jnr.:
Again, for a song that Bri had nothing to do with, he has an awful lot to say on it. He really hasn't fathomed this out. Not sure how he can draw this conclusion, but I guess this is what make lullabies so lovely, you can think it means what you think it means. The carol is actually about the correct and proper use of a u-bend under a sink, utilising the water as a barrier against bad odours coming from the sewerage lurking below.
To give a bit more of a real insight, I wanted this song to sound dirty, and it very much is. Regularly voted in the top 200,000,000,000 guitar riffs, I am quite pleased how the simple notes have resonated with dirty mag's around the globe.
Want to know a bit more? Want to know who had the body of Troy? Well, it wasn't me, but you can find out by purchasing a Deluxe Edition copy of Lazy. Sexy. Cool and a couple of my t-shirts, where all will be revealed.
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