Everytime I call you, you're never home
It makes me wonder if there's a fault with your phone
'Cos I know it can happen
Things break like my heart did
Which happened on the day you left me
To make a new start
Now I don't care about the price of cheese
Or how stale my bread is
All I know is it ain't 'arf windy
So when I dialled your work number, I got through to you
I knew this day would come and it was never too soon
You tried to say it wasn't you
But I was wise enough
I can recognise your voice
In any octave
But I don't care about the price of cheese
Or how stale my bread is
All I know is it ain't 'arf windy
I haven't really proved a point or changed a single thing
You still pawned off your rather expensive engagement ring
Now I'm left out of pocket
And with nothing in my hands
I think I'll go make a sandwich
To prove I'm a still man
Now I don't care about the price of cheese
Or how stale my bread is
All I know is it ain't 'arf windy
It ain't 'arf windy
Release notes:
All words & music by Tico Jnr.
Bri Jnr. quivers:
This ditty contains such a lovely flutter of the guitar strings from Tico (definitely not a Flying Vee number unless I'm very much mistaken), you may recognise this delicate piece of music as the hold music jingle for every insurance company phone line over the last decade and a half. If you are still in the queue, thank you for your patience, one of our operators will be with you shortly.
Due to the vocal production on this track, I have no idea what Tico's got me waffling on about apart from not caring about the price of cheese or how stale my bread is (I actually do care very much about the former, especially with the current cost of living crisis). So I will leave your interpretations completely up to you. Good luck folks! Oh by the way, this call is being recorded for monitoring and training purposes.
Tico Jnr. shockingly advises:
Them at the record label (which incidentally I was running) were pushing for the album to come out. But it wasn't ready. I had to get a final ditty down, and I had to do it alone as Bri Jnr. was in rehab combating his addiction to tugging on his nipples.
In many ways this song is about Bri and his journey, gingerly offering support. So, it is very much surprising that he refuses to sing this live unless he is allowed to tug on his - and many of the larger ladies - nipples in the crowd.
It's a constant battle for him that I fear he will never win. I'd settle for a draw.
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