The smell of that gasoline turns me on
4-Star and diesel give me the horn
I pull out the nozzle and pump out the petrol
A dose of unleaded puts lead in my pencil
Ooo-ooo-woo-ooo, ooo-ooo-woo-ooo
Ooo-ooo-woo-ooo, ooo-ooo-woo-ooo
LRP doesn’t do it for me
It’s the petrol equivalent of a prick-tease
Anti-war protestors make my blood boil
I couldn’t live without my precious oil
Ooo-ooo-woo-ooo, ooo-ooo-woo-ooo
Ooo-ooo-woo-ooo-ooo-ooo, ooo-ooo-woo-ooo-ooo-ooo
Life is good, I’ve never felt chipper
I’m known as the Berkshire Petrol Sniffer
Pass me that pump and give me a whiffer
I’d rather have that than Claudia Schiffer-nietzel
I failed my one and only driving lesson
I switched on the engine and had an orgasm
I was sacked from the night shift at Shell garage
They felt with my fetish I must be brain-damarged
Ooo-ooo-woo-ooo, ooo-ooo-woo-ooo
Ooo-ooo-woo-ooo, ooo-ooo-woo-ooo
Petrol’s gone up by 3 pence a litre
The smell of that fuel has never been sweeter
When my tank is full I nip in the garage shop
To buy a Ginsters sausage roll and can’s of Panda Pop
Ooo-ooo-woo-ooo, Panda Pop!
Ooo-ooo-woo-ooo, Panda Pop!
Ooo-ooo-woo-ooo, Panda Pop!
Ooo-ooo-woo-ooo, Ginsters!
Life is good, I’ve never felt chipper
I’m known as the Berkshire Petrol Sniffer
Pass me that pump and give me a whiffer
I’d rather have that than Claudia Schiffer-nietzel
Suede are my absolute favourite band
They sing about gasoline and feeling sad
It’s as if Brett Anderson knew me well
He also get’s off on that petrol smell
Life is good, I’ve never felt chipper
I’m known as the Berkshire Petrol Sniffer
Pass me that pump and give me a whiffer
I’d rather have that than Claudia Schiffer-nietzel
Release notes:
All words by Bri Jnr. & Tico Jnr., all music by Bri Jnr.
Bri Jnr. hurridly states:
Our titular fetishist never got over the loss of Four Star. Or when Suede broke up. But at least Suede eventually reformed and renewed their commitment to singing about gasoline, even though they are not an American band. Suede did inspire me for the exotic snake-charming intro of this ditty so I will let them off.
I did rip off one of our own numbers (Park N Ride) for the 'oom-pah' rhythms and Panda Pop chord sequence. We needed another smash hit single so desperation ensued- unfortunately according to our MySpace profile, this single was a flop and was dropped quickly from the setlist of our hugely successful 'Sparks Will Fly' tour. Must have been those damn environmentalists and anti-war protesters that stopped it from succeeding.
Roger Taylor took a shine to it though and he insisted on covering it alongside his 'I'm In Love With My Car' on Queen's tour with Paul Rodgers, the original Queen frontman before Adam Lambert unceremoniously replaced him. Ginsters shares went through the roof following this and in the 2021 petrol crisis, the song became a TikTok sensation. This is great news for our steel drummer as he is now back in demand once again. Don't you just love a happy ending?
Tico Jnr. stroking his chain recites:
Loosely based around the real Middlesbrough petrol drinker, this ditty is a joy to perform - I sure know it is also a joy for peasants to listen to.
Prior to the first double-dip recession of the 2000's, and petrol prices easily exceeding 98 pence per litre, I often used to splash about on stage with some unleaded. There was something about being doused in fuel and shouting 'nietzel' that just brought me great joy. Only seldomly was a source of ignition nearby, covering me in luke-warm flames and soot. I sure knew how to keep the St. John's ambulance lot busy, as did some fat-slob of a woman at Donington once.
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