Hey, look out over there. It's Santy!
Christmas is coming and I can't see
Any decorations on the old christmas tree
Apparently christmas is politically incorrect
As it might cause offence to others with foreign dialects
Burn Santa at the stake and throw baby Jesus on the fire
Rudolph is as bent as a three bob note and the three wise men are liars
If I worked for the county council that's the viewpoint I would take
So ban those Cliff Richard records and don't ever listen to Slade
We're no longer walking in the air and there's no snowman to be seen
Seasonal hymns are a thing of the past and so are speeches from the Queen
The council won't grant me a license to sing Silent Night in the street
And what will become of us my love if under the mistletoe we cannot meet
Burn Santa at the stake and throw baby Jesus on the fire
Rudolph is as bent as a three bob note and the three wise men are liars
If I worked for the county council that's the viewpoint I would take
So ban those Cliff Richard records and don't ever listen to Slade
Jingle bells, Batman smells
Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin flew away into the night
Burn Santa at the stake and throw baby Jesus on the fire
Rudolph is as bent as a three bob note and the three wise men are liars
If I worked for the county council that's the viewpoint I would take
So ban those Cliff Richard records and don't ever listen to Mud
No
Release notes:
All words & music by Bri. Jnr & Tico Jnr., except
Wind effect by outdoors
Bri Jnr. scoffs:
When I sang "Ban all Cliff Richard records" I didn't expect it to be taken literally. I haven't heard 'Mistletoe And Wine' or 'Saviours Day' anywhere since and it is a great shame. The festive season is not what it used to be and it all clearly went downhill once terrestrial TV introduced a fifth channel and Sony started making video games consoles.
Tico and I mourned the ghost of recent Christmases past and metaphorically nailed ourselves to the cross to protest our unhappiness with what Christmas has become in the 21st century. Our points are verbalised loud and clear here to the most Christmassy melody our talents could muster. And Tico shines on the harmonica, his talents knowing no boundaries. Fun for all the family, just please don't actually burn Santa at the stake or throw baby Jesus on the fire, that will not help matters. Seasons greetings!
Tico Jnr.confesses:
Famously witnessed by a mega monster crowd at an open-mic, this special number has evolved into something that's nearly as good as I thought if might be. Unfortunately, the shackles of Bri Jnr. do tend to stiffle the potential.
In a sensational move, I have rather generously sampled some monologue for the intro from my soon-to-be-released Christmas With Tico feature film, to accompany the wonderful track I released during the Christmas period of 2021-ish.
Anyway, this song really is lovely. Proving I am a wonderful wordsmith and guitarsmith, which is devilishly perculiar given my name is not Smith.
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